We’re human. We sometimes stop ourselves from reaching for the very thing we dream about. Why? Fear. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of mockery, fear of rejection... Fear is an anxious feeling caused by our anticipation of some imagined event or experience. The anxiety is stressful, and the stress blocks our flow of energy, and we become stuck.
In reality, this happens to all of us at some point or other, and fear of being hurt or of danger is a real, healthy fear. When fear affects our goals, our dreams, our hopes for life, however, it becomes a problem. And over a long period of time, the fear solidifies in our energy, and becomes more and more difficult to shift.
If you take some time to sit down and write a list of all the things you feel are blocking you in your life right now it is a really good start. Take a look at your list then and start to categorize it into three types –what is outside of your control, what you don’t know how to do, what you don’t want to do, or are afraid to do.
Obstacles that are outside of your control can cause great worry, but you can choose to let the worry go and leave it up to fate/destiny/a higher power. Sometimes just realizing that you can’t do anything about something can release the worry from your body and bring relief and peace. It’s amazing how things then tend to sort themselves out much quicker when you release your anxiety around them.
There’s no harm in admitting to the things that you are not excellent at, and releasing the expectation that you have to do it all yourself, frees you up and brings relief. By asking for help or by delegating a job you don’t enjoy, having access to someone else’s abilities can expand the possibilities of your goal. And by investing in a new skill you’ll have it for the rest of your life, you may even find that people come to you for help in the future!
Sometimes you just need to take the leap: book that workshop or call that someone you've not been able to call. Think about how great you’ll feel when you've done it, hold your breath and do it! It’s never as bad as it may seem. But some of these blockages are not so simple to clear. To tackle these, you must be willing to go deeper, to start with awareness. Take some time ask yourself what you are really afraid of. Imagine if you could do all the things you don’t want to do with ease and grace – who would you be then? Are you giving yourself permission to be that person?
Fear is just a Feeling
It’s not really the things you need to do that block you, it’s the way that you feel about them. By placing an emotional charge on something, you feel that charge every time you think of what you need to do. And if it’s not a pleasant feeling, you don’t want to feel it again. Stimulus response! For example, if you feel heaviness or dread around doing your accounts for the year, it’s the heaviness or dread that is blocking you, not the accounts themselves.
Think of stepping stones – you can never cross the river in one single leap, you have to take single steps to get to the other side. Instead of seeing the whole picture which can be overwhelming, see each step as an achievement that you can celebrate or mark for yourself. That in itself sometimes reduces the amount of fear you feel, or the amount of pressure you’re putting on yourself.
With your list in hand, circle the items you feel the fear around. Take the first one that jumps out at you and write about how you feel about it. Do you feel heaviness? Anxiety? Stress? Where in your body do you feel it? Your stomach? Your heart? By spending time doing this you’re already beginning to neutralize the charge, soften the obstacle and unblock the energy flow.
Breathe out the emotional charge around the issue, and look at it from a logical perspective. Are these things you were told you couldn't do, are these things connected to bad experiences? Is what you believe actually true or is it what you think you believe? Can you move past it yourself or do you need to do some work on it? Give yourself the space to be where you are. Acceptance that you’re just not ready for something also releases stress.
Be kind to yourself as you do this – don’t tell yourself you’re being ridiculous. All of your feelings are valid, whether or not your brain agrees with you. Speak gently to your body and to the emotions feeling, tell them “It’s ok, I can really do this” or “I am good enough” or “I do deserve this”. Maybe you have an affirmation of your own that works well. You might want to journey with your emotions and find out where they came from. Or you may just be missing some small piece that you've not identified yet. Ask the Universe for answers, for help; ask your emotions, your body to teach you.
While you do this work, hold in your heart the good reasons why you need to break through. Imagine how great you will feel when you have achieved your goals, remind yourself what the benefit of moving forward is. Using the methods described here, know that something will clear and something will open when the time is right.
Remember – life has given you exactly what you need for where you are right now. There is nothing wrong with you. The learning that you have to do to get from where you are to where you want to be is all part of the journey.
Abby Wynne helps people open their hearts and find the path back to their centre. She is a gifted Shamanic Psychotherapist and Energy Healer in private practice in Dublin, Ireland, with clients from all over the world via Skype. Her book, “Energy Healing for Everyone” is available from all good online retailers. You can join her on Facebook, on Twitter or read more about on her website , or her blog.